Të gjithë ne po kalojmë gjendje ankthi ndaj ngjarjes së papritur të tërmetit, por pse frika është kaq e fortë dhe ndjenja është kaq e padurueshme? Si mund të shpëtojmë nga kjo ndjesi? Çfarë do të duhet t’i themi fëmijëve tanë?
Të gjithë ne po kalojmë gjendje ankthi ndaj ngjarjes së papritur të tërmetit. Natyra e kapërcen njeriun në dimensionin e saj dhe tejkalon çdo mundësi për ta kontrolluar atë, edhe pse ne shpesh e sundojmë me abuzimin që bëjnë. Këto nuk janë vetëm ditë frike, këto mbi të gjitha janë ditë reflektimi për gjithësecilin prej nesh. Ndoshta është një kujtese, paksa e ashpër, për të na kujtuar të jemi më humanë, më të mirë e të sjellshëm me njëri-tjetrin se sot mund të jemi e nesër mund të mos jemi, ja kështu, krejt papritur; të jemi më bujarë, të tregojmë përulësi dhe përgjegjësi, të mendojmë rëndësinë e gjërave në dukje të vogla, por kaq të rëndësishme si mbrojtja e natyrës, të jemi xhentile me të dhe ta kurojmë se është shtëpia jonë më e sigurtë, edhe kur çatia që kemi mbi kokë na lë.
Nuk janë shumë sekondat e një tërmeti, por sa shumë duken kur frika të mbërthen trupin dhe mendja kërkon nxitimthi zgjidhje të menjëhershme. Goditja e parë është ALARMI. Është frika e fortë që përkthehet ndonjëherë në gjendje traume apo shoku. Kur stresori i ardhur papritur dhe me kërkcënim të mundshëm për jetën, ngjall frikë të fortë dhe e vendos trurin dhe trupin në alarm. Por cfarë do të thotë të vendosësh trupin në alarm? Pse frika është kaq e fortë dhe ndjenja është kaq e padurueshme? Si mund të shpëtojmë nga kjo ndjesi? Çfarë do të duhet t’i themi fëmijëve tanë? Si duhet të reagojmë përballë tyre? Cila është situata më kritike në përjetimin e fatkeqësive natyrore?
Të vendosësh trupin në alarm, është një reagim i “shëndetshëm” që kryen truri kur percepton se situata që ka përball është kërcënuese. Në këtë rast, truri përgatit natyralisht trupin: shton rrahjet e zemrës dhe kësisoj frymëmarrjen, pompohet më shumë gjak që trupi të marrë më shumë energji dhe të reagojë ndaj kërcënimit. Kështu ne mund të reagojmë fizikisht ose të përballemi me kërcenimin ose të largohemi, të ikim. E thënë kështu, frika është zgjidhje. Po pse nuk e durojmë dot këtë ndjesi? Frika dhe simpomat e saj fizike shkaktojnë pakënaqësi te idividi, rrahjet e zemrës trembin nga goditjet e shpeshta, dridhja e pakontrolluar e trupit dhe gjymtyrëve, ndonjëherë koka me miza apo mpirja e duarve vijnë si simptoma të pandashme me frikën dhe kështu individi fillon të ketë frikë nga vetë frika.
Po si mund të shpëtojmë nga kjo ndjesi? Përpara se të mendoni se frika është e keqja më e madhe, mendojeni si një e mirë e madhe. Më e keqja është tërmeti në vetvete që racionalisht nuk e kontrollojmë dot, por mund të mendojmë se cilat janë disa mendime racionale mbi tërmetin: mund të marrim informacion se si do të duhet të lëvizim dhe masat që duhet të ndërmarrim kur bie tërmet; si të sigurohemi se ndërtesa që jetojmë është e përshtatshme dhe e përgatitur që të mbajë ballë të caktuar dhe sa (këto do të duhet të pajtohet një inxhinier; nëse keni më shumë se një fëmijë, organizohuni që fëmijët të ndahen mes prindërisht, cili do merret me kë gjatë një episodi i mundshëm tërmeti; etj.
Çfarë do të duhet t’i themi fëmijëve tanë? Si duhet të reagojmë përballë tyre? Cila është situata më kritike në përjetimin e fatkeqësive natyrore?
Ndërkohë tregojini fëmijëve përse ndodh një tërmet dhe si zhvillohet ai, çfarë i ndodh tokës. Nuk është turp të pranoni se nuk keni informacionin e duhur ndaj mund edhe të lexoni, të përgatiteni përpara nepërmjet internetit. Ata janë shumë kuriozë të kuptojmë se çfarë është ky fenomen. Ata duan të dinë se përse tërmeti lëndon dhe kur janë këto raste. Pse shëmben ndërtesat? Tregojini të vërtetën dhe me fjalë shumë të thjeshta. Mos e ktheni tërmetin në gogol, sikundër dëgjova nga një prind, dëshmi e koleges sime, se nëse fëmija sillet keq, ndodh tërmet. Pra, përveç traumës dhe frikës, fëmija ndjen edhe faj, përgjegjësi për shkaktimin e tij. Ky arsyetim është i pamend. Lëreni sindromin e “gogolit” të flejë i qetë, dhe me fëmijën krijoni atmosferë pozitive, loje, argëtimi, mirëkuptimi. Vëreni me kujdes nëse fëmija shfaq shenja të mungesës së urisë, pagjumësisë, pyetjeve të përsëritura ndonjëherë edhe jashtë kontekstit, me siguri që duan të reduktojnë ankthin. Nëse fëmija ka kohë që nuk ha, jepini ushqim shpesh dhe pak, mirëkuptojeni që nuk ha. Tregojini me fjalë se e dini që është trembur. Dëshmoni tek ata që edhe ju jeni trembur por së bashku do t’ia dilni mbanë këto ditë. Sigurojini përqafime dhe vëmendje të shpeshta. Jepini mundësi momentesh krijimi: një vizatim, një lojë me lego, lojëra punëdore me shokë dhe shoqe të grupuara së bashku me prindërit e tyre. Mund t’i organizoni edhe te shtëpitë e njëri-tjetrit. Bashkimi social në këto situata, ka një efekt çlirues të pashoq. Kështu fëmijët përballen se përjetimi është i njëjtë. Ky është një ngushëllim në grup shumë i nevojshëm. Lërini fëmijët të bëjnë pyetje qofshin këto në dukje edhe “budallaqe”, merrjani seriozisht, degjojini dhe jepni përgjigje të sinqerta. Mos gënjeni. Nëse ju pyesin a ka njerëz të lënduar, tregojini që ka dhe mjekët po kujdesen për ata. Nëse fëmija fillon të qajë, është një shenjë e mirë, pasi e qara çliron emocionet dhe i bën ato me lexueshme. Ju keni për detyrë t’i thoni se sa mirë që ata qajnë, kështu do të ndjehen më mirë dhe se jeni aty për të. Të qash është humane dhe natyrale.
Situate më kritike përballë këtyre fatkeqsive është situata post tërmetit dhe post alarmit. Kur individi është përballë faktit. Rimëkëmbja mund të jetë afatshkurtër, dhe këshillat më sipër qëndrojnë, por ka edhe mëkëmbje afatgjata. Kësisoj do të duhet që prindërit të ndërmarrin hapa për marrjen e një shërbimi më afatgjatë profesional. Stresi post traum është i zakonshmëm në këto situata, për të vegjël dhe të rritur. Jini vigjilent të dashur prindër të krijoni gjykimin e duhur dhe në kohën e duhur për të ndërmarrë proçesin e terapisë sa më parë të jetë e mundur.
Fëmijët që janë më të mëdhenj, jepini mundësi të kujdesen për ata që janë më të vegjël. Tregojini atyre se sa kurajoz janë treguar dhe se vëllezërit dhe motrat më të vegjël kanë nevojë për ta. Edhe shokët me të vegjël kanë nevojë për ta.
Prezantojini fëmijët me punën vullnetare, edhe ata që janë më të vegjël se 10, por sidomos nga mosha 10 vjeç e sipër. Bëjini edhe pjesë të punës vullnetare po të jetë e mundur. Kështu fëmijët i formohet ndjenja e altruizmit dhe rritja e ndërgjegjes apo përgjegjësisë sociale.
Prindër të dashur, në këto ditë kemi pranë njëri tjetrin dhe Zotin tonë të madh, ngushëlluesin më të madh të shpresës!
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το live στοίχημα είναι όντως καλύτερη επιλογή ή απλά ένα
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